I started this while waiting at the airport yesterday:
6:15 came early this morning. My bags were already packed from the night before and all that was left was to say goodbye to the family.
I now remember times when I’ve left my Mom in the past, she used to cry, I’d act all tough and she’d say to me, ‘you’ll understand when you have children’, and she was right. A new understanding about leaving and distance is gained when the shoe is on the other foot. In 1999 I was full of hope and blind with excitement when I left Windsor to live in Vancouver. I didn’t want anyone to make a big deal about it. I would be back, no worries. But now I get it. I know what my family went through. This is only going to be 6 days, but the thought of leaving my 3 girls for longer knocks the wind out of me. I hope Hanna and Armenie are fine will a community college or university that’s close and they find someone to marry that lives on the same side of the country!
So here I am fighting back tears as I watch my plane pull into the terminal. Leaving Vancouver, from one family to another family, I know that these next 6 days will test me in a few ways. I know that right now I’m really thinking about what I’m leaving behind and I’m not really thinking about the situation I’m walking into. I’ve been around for my Mom’s operations before, but this one is a bit bigger and I know it’s not going to be like the others. I know we will all act like everything is okay, but in the back of our minds we are going to be worried about our family anchor. Without my mom pulling us all together at the holidays and the constant updates of the family circle, we 3 Langemann men would be in more of a mess than we already are. She’s the one that helped all of us through the hard times and now it’s our turn.
I’ve packed my camera and one lens (thanks to Loren for the 35mm) and I’m excited and nervous about the photographs that might come from this trip. I know the camera will be my crutch I just hope the images will prove to be as therapeutic.